If you’ve ever caught yourself thinking:
- “I should be happier.”
- “I should want this.”
- “I should be grateful.”
…you’re not alone.
In Episode 2, we talk about one small word that quietly controls the lives of high achievers: should.
Because for a lot of us, “should” isn’t a helpful suggestion. It’s a pressure-filled command. And most of the time, it isn’t even our voice.
“Should” is a clue—not a character flaw
Here’s the shift: instead of treating “should” like proof you’re doing something wrong, treat it like data.
Every “should” is a breadcrumb pointing to a deeper question:
Whose expectation am I trying to meet right now?
That’s why the invitation this week is simple:
Notice the should. Pause. Get curious.
No fixing. No forcing. No judging. Just noticing.
The “shoods” were planted before we could question them
One of the most important reminders from this episode:
The shoulds aren’t your fault.
They’re planted early—by family systems, school, culture, religion, professional environments, gender roles, ambition culture… all of it.
And then, without realizing it, we build an entire life around those expectations.
We follow the blueprint because it looks “right.”
Because it’s rewarded.
Because everyone claps when we hit the milestones.
But inside? Something feels off.
When you live by someone else’s blueprint, it costs you
In the transcript, there’s a powerful image: living by someone else’s blueprint is like running a background program on your operating system 24/7.
Eventually, the whole system crashes.
You may look “successful” on the outside—high functioning, dependable, accomplished.
But behind closed doors, it can feel like:
- crying in the parking lot before going inside
- coming home exhausted from “performing” all day
- feeling like you’re living a double life
- hearing “You must be so happy!” and wanting to say only one word: Help.
That’s the cost of the mask.
And what makes it harder? People telling you that you should be grateful.
You can be grateful—and still unfulfilled
This episode makes room for a truth many high achievers don’t feel allowed to say:
You can be grateful for what you built and still not want to stay inside it.
This isn’t about rejecting everything you’ve built.
It’s not about blowing up your life.
It’s about asking better questions.
- Is this my blueprint or someone else’s?
- Did I actually choose this, or did I just never question it?
- When I say “I should,” whose voice is that?
Because when you can tell the difference between your voice and everyone else’s…
That’s when everything changes.
That’s when decisions start to feel clear.
That’s when your path starts to feel like your path.
This week’s practice: Notice the “should”
Here’s your practice for the week (straight from the episode):
- Pay attention to the word should
- Every time it comes up, pause
- Get curious: “Whose voice is that really?”
- You don’t have to answer it—just notice
That’s it.
Noticing is where waking up begins.
What’s coming next
Next episode, we go deeper into the question that keeps so many high achievers up at night:
Why did I build all of this and still feel empty?
If you’ve ever hit a goal and felt… nothing—Episode 3 will be for you.
And remember:
The fact that you’re asking these questions isn’t a sign something is wrong with you.
It’s a sign you’re waking up.
