I had one of those moments recently that didn’t look like anything from the outside.
No big breakthrough. No dramatic decision. Just me at my desk with coffee, staring at a to-do list that felt like it had its own heartbeat.
You know the kind:
YouTube edits
Newsletter draft
Client follow-ups
A TikTok idea you swear you’ll film today
Dinner to figure out
A text you still haven’t answered
The house
The dog
The life
And then it showed up—that familiar tightness in the chest. The quiet, convincing voice that says: You’re behind. You’re not doing enough. Everyone else has it figured out and you’re failing to keep up.
Old me would’ve powered through. White-knuckled it. Stayed up late. Done all the things and still felt empty—because tomorrow the list would regenerate like it always does.
But I’ve been practicing something different.
My coach Heather calls it “surrendering the how.”
I think of it as learning to trust that I don’t have to hold everything at once.
So instead of attacking my list, I asked myself one question:
“What is the one thing today that will actually move me forward—and what am I holding onto just because I’m afraid to let it go?”
And half the list fell away.
Not because those things didn’t matter.
But because they didn’t matter today.
That distinction—“this matters” vs. “this matters right now”—is the difference between overwhelm and peace.
The Lie We Inherit About Overwhelm
A lot of us carry an unspoken story that says:
If I’m overwhelmed, I must be doing important work.
If it doesn’t feel like a lot, I’m not doing enough.
Hustle is the proof I’m serious.
Exhaustion is just the cost of ambition.
But what if overwhelm isn’t evidence you’re doing meaningful work?
What if it’s evidence you’ve stopped trusting yourself to know what’s meaningful?
Because overwhelm often isn’t a workload problem—it’s a signal-to-noise problem. It’s what happens when everything feels equally urgent because you’re trying to stay safe, stay caught up, stay in control.
And control is expensive.
A Different Way Is Possible (Even If You’re Still Learning It)
I’m still learning this. I don’t have it all figured out.
Some days I still white-knuckle it. I still try to carry everything. I still forget that pressure isn’t leadership.
But I’m building proof—slowly—that a different way is possible:
That I can wake up, do work I love, be done by 5pm, protect what matters to me ferociously, and still build something meaningful.
That’s the revolution.
Not doing more. Trusting more.
Three Things to Carry With You This Week
1) Ask the One Question
Before you open another tab, start another project, or say yes to another thing—pause and ask:
“What is the ONE thing that, if I focused on it today, would make everything else easier?”
Write it down. Do that thing first.
Let everything else wait—not forever. Just for today.
2) Catch the Inherited Story
Listen to your self-talk this week. When you hear:
“I’m not good at X.”
“People like me don’t do Y.”
“I always mess this up.”
Stop and ask:
Is this true—or is it a belief I absorbed from someone who didn’t know any better?
Replace it with something honest:
“I’m learning. I’m evolving. I’m capable of change.”
3) Separate “This Matters” From “This Matters Right Now”
Your to-do list isn’t lying. Most of it probably does matter.
But not all of it matters today.
Look at your list:
Circle the one thing that moves the needle this week.
Draw a line under it.
Everything below the line gets permission to wait.
If You’re Sitting With an Impossible List Today…
Take a breath.
Ask the question.
Let something go—not forever. Just for today.
You’re not behind.
You’re just holding too much at once.
And that’s a problem you already know how to solve.
– Sallie
